5 Baking Traditions That Can Help Your Adopted Child Feel at Home
When a child is adopted, whether domestically or through fostering, building a sense of
belonging isn’t always immediate.
That’s why something as simple as baking together can have a powerful impact. While
children law lays the legal foundation for a child’s new home, it’s the everyday rituals—like
flour-dusted counters and mixing bowls—that make it feel real.
Baking isn’t just about the treats. It’s about bonding, predictability, shared achievements,
and culture. In this post, we’ll explore five baking traditions that can help adopted children
feel more at ease in their new surroundings, strengthen family bonds, and create lasting
memories.
Why Baking Is So Powerful in the Adoption Journey
Food has always played a central role in how families connect. For children who’ve
experienced upheaval, loss, or trauma, baking offers a comforting, sensory-rich experience
that promotes connection without pressure.
It’s collaborative but relaxed. It provides structure—measuring, waiting, sharing—while still
being flexible. And it offers a sense of achievement at the end, which is especially important
for children working on confidence or self-esteem.
Sunday Morning Scones: Building Predictability
Establishing a regular baking ritual—like scones every Sunday morning—can help give your
child a reliable point in the week they can count on. Predictability is comforting, especially for children who may have had unpredictable or chaotic past experiences. Knowing that every Sunday the kitchen will smell of warm scones and they’ll get to stir the dough or cut out shapes helps build a sense of routine.
Let your child choose the add-ins—raisins, cheese, chocolate chips—so they feel involved. Over time, it becomes their family tradition, too. Pairing the activity with other rituals, like a special breakfast or storytelling time, can. strengthen the sense of safety and rhythm.
Seasonal Bakes: Celebrating Identity and Belonging
Baking seasonal or cultural treats is a great way to explore heritage and help your child feel included in wider traditions. If your child comes from a different cultural background, learning and making their traditional baked goods together can be a powerful act of inclusion.
You might try:
Eid biscuits or cakes
Christmas mince pies
Diwali sweets
Hanukkah doughnuts
Lunar New Year almond cookies
Even British classics—hot cross buns at Easter, Victoria sponge in summer—can serve as
anchors in the calendar.
The BBC Good Food website includes child-friendly versions of many of these bakes, and the process of selecting a recipe together helps give your child agency and voice. Baking linked to heritage also opens up natural conversations about identity, roots, and family values—without needing to force the topic.
Celebration Cakes: Marking Milestones With Meaning
Celebration baking doesn’t have to be reserved for birthdays. In adoption, it’s common to celebrate “family days”—the anniversary of the adoption—or even “gotcha days” (the day your child came home).
Baking a cake together to honour this day can become a treasured tradition. Let them choose the flavour, the decoration, even the candles. It makes the day less about formality and more about joy, togetherness, and shared ownership. You might also bake for smaller wins: their first week at a new school, finishing a book, or
just making it through a tough day. These small celebrations reinforce their worth and help reframe achievement in positive, nurturing ways. CBeebies parenting offers tips and advice for adoptive parents looking to bond with their children.
“Pass the Recipe” Days: Creating New Family Lore
Adopted children may come into your life with little or no information about their early years. Baking can help you create new “origin stories” together, even if they don’t have inherited family recipes. Make up a tradition: maybe “Nan’s ginger biscuits” even if Nan isn’t real—or better yet, name the recipe after your child. Perhaps your child invents a banana cake with cinnamon and names it “Sam’s Brilliant Banana Loaf.”
Print out the recipe and keep it in a folder. Over time, you’re building a collection that belongs to your unique family. These can be passed down, shared with relatives, or added to memory books. Encouraging your child to be the one who teaches the recipe to others—siblings, cousins, friends—reinforces their ownership and pride.
Bake-and-Share: Building Empathy and Social Bonds
Baking together isn’t just about what happens in your home—it’s also an opportunity to connect with your community. Baking something to share with neighbours, teachers, or family friends teaches generosity and opens safe, low-pressure social experiences. For children struggling with confidence or attachment, seeing someone enjoy something they made can be incredibly validating. Let your child be involved in choosing who to bake for and what to make. Even simple biscuits or fairy cakes can carry enormous emotional weight when made and shared with care.
The Children’s Society offers advice on building community connection for vulnerable children, highlighting how consistent, prosocial experiences can boost self-worth and resilience.
Tips for Making Baking Feel Safe and Fun
For children with sensory sensitivities, trauma histories, or who are neurodivergent, baking might come with challenges.
Consider these tips to make it more accessible:
Use visual recipes with step-by-step photos or symbols.
Offer choices between two or three recipes so they feel in control.
Let them watch before joining in.
Break activities into small steps and don’t rush.
Allow space for mess—it’s part of the joy!
Remember, it’s not about the outcome—it’s about the process. The cake might flop, the biscuits might burn, but the memory is made either way.
Building Belonging, One Bake at a Time
No baking tradition will replace the deeper work of bonding, attachment, and healing that adoption requires. But these rituals provide stepping stones. They build connection without confrontation. They allow time for talk, trust, and laughter to grow. For parents navigating new family dynamics, these shared moments in the kitchen can be healing for you, too. When you’re elbow-to-elbow decorating cupcakes, the roles of parent and child become softer, more collaborative. You’re not lecturing or disciplining—you’re creating something, together. So next time things feel unsettled, or you’re wondering how to create closeness that doesn’t rely on words, try putting on an apron. You might be surprised by what rises.
This article is for general guidance only and does not constitute legal advice. If you are navigating an adoption, fostering, or family law matter, please consult a qualified solicitor or child law specialist.
