A NO LAUGHING [COUGHING OR SNEEZING] MATTER: LIGHTS BY TENA
There are taboos, and then there are taboos.
This is one of those ones. You know, an issue that so many of us face but don’t talk about because it’s not that nice and we wish it wasn’t happening to us.
Well, I’m 38, I’ve carried three near ten pound boys wayyy over term, and given birth naturally to each of them. After all that, my poor pelvic muscles are shot to pieces. I made three beautiful boys and that’s the aftermath. I pee when I laugh, cough, sneeze, or run, jump… You get the idea.
I don’t think that there’s a UK mothers’ discussion board anywhere on the internet that hasn’t got a thread talking about this, and yet we all feel ashamed when it’s happening to us.
So, I’m saying it. I’m not ashamed because it’s not my fault. When I laugh too much, I pee my pants. Yep. If I’m running (even to the toilet) there’s a chance I won’t make it. Not because I’m lazy or dirty, just because my body, postpartum, is wrecked in that area. It feels horrible to admit it. It feels dirty – and I can’t change it. Even the name sounds bad. Urinary stress incontinence. It feels like it’s a personal failing.
I don’t have a friend who’s given birth naturally and doesn’t suffer with it – but the shame we feel is worse. I happen to know that my mum asks my sister to stand guard in the aisle at her supermarket whilst she buys her pads, in case anyone she knows walks by and sees her. That makes me so sad.
Like most body issues we encounter in our lives, it’s not happening because we’ve been neglectful of our bodies.
If I was French, I more than likely wouldn’t need to be talking about it – because the French take it so seriously that every woman is given sessions of physical therapy after birth if needed, which is compensated by their social security system. When I left hospital, I was told to practice my pelvic floor exercises. I did. They didn’t (and don’t, despite doing them every.single.day.) work very much.
I spoke to my midwife last week about it, who told me that there is help out there – but that oddly, midwives cannot refer mothers to it and it has to be requested at your GP’s office. I’ve waited six years to see a neurologist for blindness in pregnancy (I finally have) and so my hope isn’t high there. I can’t begin to imagine how long a waiting list would be if it were advertised that there was help available.
For those of us with weakened muscles, it’s pretty much a case of prevention of embarrassment being more readily available than cure. If you are struggling with your knees together on occasion like me, and there’s no help in sight, Tena is here to help with their very feminine Lights by Tena range, to help with those ooooops moments when you’re out and about and exerting your body with your little ones.
Their range is gorgeous, which is an odd thing to say, but it’s true. There are four delicate looking products available, with a pink pop to the packaging. The liners differs in size, shape and absorption level so there’s a product for everyone. I love the long liners and the single wrap liners, as being with the boys out and about, there’s no knowing how I’ll need to contort myself if they get into mischief, and I love the safe feeling I get – and the single wrap liners are discreet enough to carry anywhere, even in my pocket.
The liners have a very fresh feeling to them and are so thin that I barely notice them. There’s no risk of them looking bulky or showing with tighter fitting clothing, they’re so well designed. I now wouldn’t be without them. After I tried them, I wondered what others had to say about them and the comments, whilst positive, were unsurprisingly pretty sad.
Our attitude towards our bodies post partum is deeply upsetting. We’re experiencing a side effect of carrying a baby, creating a life, and most of us are silently ashamed. The best reviews I read online were short – “do what they’re supposed to” – and I say this, because most of them were just full comments like, “Home delivery is the least embarrassing option”.
No, it’s not fun, it’s not fair, but it is a very common aspect of motherhood – and so I’m grateful that Tena are bringing the discussion into the open. Most of us have our own ooooops moments and for them, Tena has a product for everyone’s level of need….
…Yep, there’s a Tena for everyone…which coincidentally gave him an oooooops moment of his own to bring out for his or his 18th/21st/Wedding.
I don't have leakage issues, but there is a whole group of moms in my zumba class who do & there is always a collective sigh when a song with jumps comes on!
I can just imagine!
Love this post! It's just a part of womanhood/motherhood! Been there!! Thanks for helping making it comfortable to talk about!
I'm so glad you feel that way. I don't know why we are so ashamed, it's so sad.
Thank you so much for sharing this company and products. I have the same problem after 3 natural births as well.
You're welcome – they're brilliant products. My mum was so excited I was writing about them!
I can't say I have this problem but I only have one child so it may happen after the next one! Your little boy looks like a skeleton in his Tena inspired outfit 🙂
I'll hope it doesn't for you! 🙂 My son thinks he is Super-Tena Man! Haha!
I did have this problem at one time, but when I completely gave up cane sugar and started eating healthier.. My problem went away.
Sugar seems to cause so many problems – I gave it up in pregnancy and I felt so much healthier. I wish I had never started again!
OH yeah… I TOTALLY understand.
I haven't had this problem, but did when I was pregnant! Your photos are so cute by the way.
Glad you don't have it any longer! Thank you so much 🙂
OMG. Your son is Tena man! That's awesome. =D
Ha ha…. He really is!
Oh girl… I actually don't have a ton of problem with leakage, but I did have a bladder prolapse after birth–another more-common-than-you'd-think issue. Lots of women deal with this stuff, and it's important to talk about. Thanks for doing that!
Ouch, I'm so sorry! It is important to talk about I think – someone could be suffering and feel too scared to seek help.
Really useful and helpful post, but sad to hear that it's not easier for midwives to refer you for help too.
My midwife is at a loss as to why they can't refer – seems really silly!
Thanks for sharing this out – I am sure this is a matter that every woman / mother would be able to relate!
Too many of us sadly! Thank you for reading!
You are one super mom! While I'm not yet a mom, I'm sure glad to have read this. Although I would sometimes hear my Mom complain about this when she sneezes. Tena and other pads, pantiliners make women's lives a lot easier and more convenient.
Thanks for sharing! After having 3 large babies (even though they were c-sectioned out 12 pounders!) They killed my bladder. I thought there was something wrong with me till the doctor said I have 'bladder drop' due to those big boys…so these pads would come in handy for me! Thanks!
Three twelve pounders! Congratulations! I had no idea mine would be ten pounders, the midwives seemed shocked every time. Huge heads, HUGGGE heads! Haha!
I have this problem only when I cough. I never thought to use pads. I am not a huge fan of pads because they feel like diapers.
Crikey, you are rather brave tackling this issue, but good on you!
Thanks Clare. It only seems to be a taboo over here – as I said, in France they take is so seriously!
Well done for sharing that with us and i LOVE tena-boy 😉
He really does think he's a super hero 😉
I remember reading an article years ago saying how bladder weakness etc could affect any woman. A research team tested a group of nuns who obviously had never had sex let alone babies and found they had problems too. The things us women don't like to talk about!
After having three kids, I can see without a doubt that a good pad is super important. It makes laughing MUCH less stressful. 😉
It is good that it can be more spoken about these days – it isn't something people should be ashamed of, it happens.
Those pictures killed me, they really did. I dont suffer with Stress Incontinence, but that is down to two C sections rather than anything I did!
Thank you very much! My boys are huge fans of Tena 😉
I want you to come over and take pictures of my kids. These pictures are outstanding!
I don't experience this yet, but I know that so many women who go through this. It's not a laughing matter in more ways than one. The things that us women go through!
I can totally relate! Thanks for this post. Your pictures came out really awesome lol. So cute.
I can soooo relate. Glad someone thought about discussing leakage issues.
I can highly recommend the mutu system for helping strengthen everything down there – I have been introduced to muscles I did;t know existed
You know, I heard about that! Did you get a referral through your doctor?
Ahhhh thankfuly I have not had any of these issues… But I know a few girls that have!
WOW I love your photos 🙂 xx
Such a lovely and honest post! Amazing photos truly!
Thanks for bringing up this topic! It's good for others to be aweare of it!
I had no idea that this could happen after giving birth until very recently. However, your last pic is priceless. Too funny!
It can be so stressful for women, but like you say, it's a side effect of giving birth so isn't something anyone should be ashamed about. It's interesting to hear what France does to support mothers after birth while we just get a sheet of paper with a couple of exercises on it.
Well done for writing this post, it is definitely something that should be talked about more.
Great post. Something a lot need, but are not comfortable talking about.
A great post, and one which so many women can relate to as well. I'm awful, I call them my p!ss pads bwahahahaha!
I commend your courage to write about this. As a dad, I cannot say enough how much I appreciate what a miracle a mother's body is. And the spirit within the woman, too.
what a brave thing to do to write about this wish more folk did .
I think this a part of most if not all mom's life.Thank you for sharing your story.
Glad you liked the tena products – but, I'm hopping on to remind everyone that you don't need to put up with it. Stress incontinence has an 80% cure rate with physiotherapy. I did a blog for Mumsnet a while ago – speak to your GP, follow me on twitter and by Easter, you're probably going to be dry. 1:3 women leak, it's never normal, mostly curable, certainly improvable and you don't need to put up with it. Truly.