Hello Third Trimester… Or, “Ohh, Were You Trying For A Girl?”

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Week 26 has arrived!  I can barely believe I’ve reached the third trimester, with my third child.  I never imagined I would have one child, let alone three (I’d like four).

This pregnancy has been as different as the others; differently positioned placenta (this time he is anterior high, Jensen was anterior low and Lyoto was posterior high), different symptoms (sore boobs, cravings – I’ve never had a craving before(!), and complete exhaustion – probably more to do with the two boys taking my time and energy), and yet it’s the same in other ways.  The blood pressure, the worry about blindness again, and of course, the crazy hormones.  I crack at the slightest upset now.
There is one huge difference though… This is a Summer baby!  Jensen and Lyoto are Valentine babies (15th and 14th February respectively) and this time, our due date is June 29th. Based on my other pregnancies, I’m adding nine days though and I predict July 7th, so long as everything continues naturally.  There is no way this baby will be naturally early.

After the first trimester in each pregnancy, things have gotten quite scary for me.  Both times I’ve lost my sight, both times I’ve had no answers as to why, and both times my blood pressure has shot through the roof.  This time my blood pressure is already higher than it should be and in addition to making me feel awful in the evenings, it scares me.  I’m waiting to see the consultant very shortly to ensure my situation is monitored.
I already have my birth plan in place for if everything goes smoothly; no unnecessary intervention, no medication except gas and air, and no noise.  Gavin knows how I deal with pain (silently) and that I don’t like coaching, or praise when I’m giving birth.  In fact, I don’t like having to think about anything at all and so silence is the best atmosphere for me.  He squeezes my hand, tells me I can do it if I tell him I can’t (which is usually at transition), and tells me that I don’t need the drugs when I ask for them (at transition).  Without him I’m quite sure my births would have turned out very differently than they have.

I’m already wondering how big this baby will be; with Jensen at 9lbs 8ozs and Lyoto at 9lbs 3ozs, I’m wondering if instead of getting bigger, the decrease in size will continue!  The head circumference on the other hand went from 37cm with Jensen to 39cm with Lyoto.  Gavin has a huge head, and I blame him.  Still, our baby is measuring under the 50th centile currently which is unlike Jensen who was off the charts, and arrived measuring 60cm in length with the legs of a grasshopper.

I don’t have family living near me to celebrate my impending arrival, and so I’m feeling pretty lonely.   And the downside to this pregnancy?  The boy comments.

We have two beautiful boys at home already, and we know from our 20 week scan that this baby is a boy. No doubt about it, if you know what I mean.  Yet when people ask me if we know the sex of our baby, and I reply that yes, it’s another boy, for some reason they interpret the “another” as a bad thing.  This week alone I’ve had two mothers ask me if I wanted a girl, if I was trying for a girl, and then tell me that they were so delighted when they found out their third was a girl…and one that they would have cried if they discovered their third was a boy.  So kind, thank you.

So here it is for those tactless enough to ask.  I’m not sure what you’re hoping to get out of asking, but anyway.  Yes, I’d love to have a little girl.  And yes, it hurts my heart very much when I hear that my friends are expecting girls.  I’m a Disney bride, I want a little princess of my own.  But I also am completely smitten and exploding with happiness that I’m growing another little bundle of blue who is fiercely kicking around inside of me.  My boys adore me more than I could ever hope for, and they bring a bigger love into to my heart than I ever thought possible.

I’m very painfully aware from friends and family who aren’t able to conceive or carry a baby to term, and those who have lost babies and children, that I’m incredibly lucky to have any children at all.  I know that.  But for every boy Momma out there who’s hurting from the girl comments or yearning for a little princess, I just want to say, I hear you.  We love our little boys, thank you very much.

 (Photos copyright Cristina Barton Photography)

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